Anyone that has been at work for more than a couple of years, realizes that attitude is a priceless asset across all work places. It produces 80% of the results…skills (arguably) accounting for the remainder 20%. Yet, a bulk of the curriculum that is taught at academic institutions and at workplace training programs centre around skill enhancement. If the input quality is suspect, how can we expect better output? A short story on attitude.

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed. Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.

Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot. He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.

Turning to her, he asked. “Daughter, what do you see?” “Potatoes, eggs and coffee,” she hastily replied.

“Look closer”, he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft.

He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

“Father, what does this mean?” she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity-the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak. The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

“Which one are you?” he asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Please read this from the beginning, without scrolling to the end. Your reward is the realization of how pervasive this under-rated competency at the workplace is.

I am seldom considered, though I do more to influence everything about you than virtually any one thing in your life. I often control the time you get up in the morning, the time you go to sleep, what you eat and drink and the very thought that runs through your head. I can make you either happy or sad, loving or hateful, cheerful or remorseful, congenial or spiteful and in doing so, control the very capacity that you have for success.

No, you don’t often think of me instead you BLAME the problem I create on the shortcoming of others, or the state of the economy, or your family or a million other reasons. Often at times unable to find anyone else to BLAME you look for shortcomings within yourself on which to lay the BLAME.

When my impact on your life fully is considered in your every thought and action, when you are mindful of my awesome power, when you nurture and groom me for positive use in your life, I can become more contagious than the most prolific disease ever witnessed by man. My influence will spread to every person you come in contact with.

Groomed and nurtured in a positive manner there will be no person or obstacle that can stand in the way of my success or fail to be impacted for the better.

‘I Am Your Attitude’

It’s really quite simple…the hungrier you are for it, the greater are the chances of success. Umpteen stories of people that rise from near impossible circumstances and achieve success…because they are hungry for success…their motivation drives them.

Have you read about the secret success stories? Here we will tell you one interesting story.

A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning .They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue.

Socrates pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked: “What did you want the most when you were there?” The boy replied: “Air.” Socrates said: “That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted the air, then you will get it. There is no other secret.”

The motivation to succeed comes from the burning desire to achieve a purpose. Napoleon Hill wrote: “Whenever the mind of man can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishment. Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great results.

For those of us with hidden talent that we are too scared or reluctant to pursue them…I hope this story serves as an inspiration to take the first step.

Anthony Burgess was 40 when he learned that he had only one year to live. He had a brain tumor that would kill him within a year. He knew he had a battle on his hands. He was completely broke at the time, and he didn’t have anything to leave behind for his wife, Lynne, soon to be a window.

Burgess had never been a professional novelist in the past, but he always knew the potential was inside him to be a writer. So, for the sole purpose of leaving royalties behind for his wife, he put a piece of paper into a typewriter and began writing. He had no certainty that he would even be published, but he couldn’t think of anything else to do.

“It was January of 1960,” he said, “and according to the prognosis, I had a winter and spring and summer to live through, and would die with the fall of the leaf.”

In that time Burgess wrote energetically, finishing five and a half novels before the year wad through (very nearly the entire lifetime output of E.M. Forster, and almost twice that of J. D. Salinger.)

But Burgess did not die. His cancer had gone into remission and then disappeared altogether. In his long and full life as a novelist (he is best known for A Clock-work Orange), he wrote more than 70 books, but without the death sentence from cancer, he may not have written at all.

Many of us are like Anthony Burgess, hiding greatness inside, waiting for some external emergency to bring it out. Ask yourself what you’d do if you had Anthony Burgess’s original predicament. ” If I had just a year to live, how would I live differently? What exactly would I do?”

People with the best skill set often get left behind and the ‘laggards’ finish first. Ever wondered why the most ‘technically brilliant’ people don’t do as well as the others…It’s often a function of the attitude and the motivation…how motivated are you to reach your target?

The Olympic Games, Mexico, 1968. The marathon is the final event on the program. The Olympic stadium is packed and there is excitement as the first athlete, an Ethiopian runner, enters the stadium. The crowd erupts as he crosses the finish line.

Way back in the field is another runner, John Stephen Akwhari of Tanzania. He has been eclipsed by the other runners. After 30 kilometers his head is throbbing, his muscles are aching and he falls to the ground. He has serious leg injuries and officials want him to retire, but he refuses. With his knee bandaged Akwhari picks himself up and hobbles the remaining 12 kilometers to the finish line. An hour after the winner has finished Akwhari enters the stadium. All but a few thousand of the crowd have gone home. Akwhari moves around the track at a painstakingly slow pace, until finally he collapses over the finish line.

It is one of the most heroic efforts of Olympic history. Afterward, asked by a reporter why he had not dropped out, Akwhari says, “My country did not send me to start the race. They sent me to finish.”

Source: reported on Sydney 2000 Olympics website

Here is the story of an elderly gentleman’s successful use of the management technique of understanding mental make and acting accordingly. It sure beats the “stick” approach.

An elderly gentleman spent each afternoon tending his large garden on his corner lot. A group of 10-year-old boys began harassing him on their way home from school.

After a few days listening to their insults, he decided to act. The next day, he met the boys as they approached his house and told them that, as he lived alone and met so few young people, he was rather enjoying their attention. To show his appreciation, he told them that if they continued showing attention to him on the next day he would give them a dollar each. Amazed and excited, the next day the boys showed up right after school, showered the old man with jeers and got their reward of a dollar each. The old man asked them to come back the next day but, as he didn’t have much money, he could only give them a quarter each.

The kids still thought this was a pretty good deal and so the next day came and taunted him again. Once more, the old man paid them off, but announced that as he now had even less money, in future he would only be able to give them a penny each.

He never saw the boys again.

The next-mile principle focuses on achieving smaller goals which then build toward your overall aim. Your vision or dream. It helps to build your belief in what you can do by focusing on short steps, taken one at a time. This is a very effective way of overcoming the barriers to goal setting, which sometimes arise from thinking big.

During the Second World War, author and correspondent, Eric Sevareid was forced to parachute from a damaged transport plane into the jungle on the Burma-India border. Sevareid and the other survivors knew that any rescue attempt would take several weeks so they had no option but to start walking.

They faced a daunting task – tropical heat, monsoon rains and a painful, 140 mile march over mountainous terrain. The torturous route to civilized India seemed almost impassable. The dream of salvation almost impossible.

As Sevareid recounts: “In the first hour of the march I rammed a boot nail deep into one foot: by evening I had bleeding blisters….on both feet. Could I hobble 140 miles? Could the others, some in worse shape than I, complete such a distance?

We were convinced we could not. But we could hobble to that ridge; we could make the next friendly village for the night. And that, of course, was all we had to do…”

This story is adapted from the “Magic of Thinking Big”, by David Schwartz. Written in 1959, this is a classic positive thinking and self-help book. Central to Schwartz’s argument is the importance of belief. If you believe something is possible, your mind gets to work for you – finding a way to achieve it.

The world is like a mirror: it gives back to anyone the reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed. The world and your reality are like mirrors lying in a coffin, which show to any individual the death of his divine capability to imagine and create his happiness and his success. It’s the way you face Life that makes the difference.

One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written: “Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym”. In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.

The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!” One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself.

There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.” You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. “The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself”.

There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. So be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words… it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way.

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Don’t let anyone steal your dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what. No Dream is too big or too small when one works hard to live it. One should always try making dreams come true no matter what.

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Isidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, “I want to tell you why I let Jack use my horse. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy’s high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

“That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch.

“He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, `See me after class.’

“The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, `Why did I receive an F?’

“The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you’ll have to pay large stud fees. There’s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’

“The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, `Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.’ “Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all.

He stated, “You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.”

Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, “I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace.”

He added, “The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same schoolteacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week.” When the teacher was leaving, he said, “Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids’ dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours.”

Only when you understand what drives a person’s behaviour can you truly coach them effectively.  Sometimes the results might astound you…

Mrs. W. is a delightful 80 year old woman who sees me dutifully every month for blood pressure monitoring. Every consultation has followed the same pattern: her readings are a bit high; I give health education on the benefits of lowering her blood pressure; she responds about the side effects she has experienced with the various antihypertensives we’ve tried; we hope that this new one will not cause any unwanted side effects and she leaves with a green prescription.

On this occasion though, the consultation goes differently. Mrs. W. returns informing me that she had stopped amlodipine after a week because she “just didn’t feel right” on it. This is a pattern for her. This time I decide to try a different line of questioning using some health coaching techniques and ask her to rate on a scale of 1-10 how important controlling her blood pressure is to her. After a pause she replies   “Well, zero doctor, but I know it is important to you and I like coming so…” By using a different approach Mrs. W.’s own opinion is finally revealed.

We discuss the risks of not taking antihypertensives; a potential stroke sooner in life or a heart attack. Despite this Mrs. W. says that she is in her eighties, has had a great life, and would rather not take them due to side effects. I believe she has capacity to make this decision, and we agree to stop them. I feel QOF points slipping away but reflect that the savings in the pharmacy budget will in all likelihood make up for this when looking at the bigger picture. We arrange a review in a month to see how things are going. She leaves without a green piece of paper whilst I have a better understanding of her real opinion.

If you use the sandwich approach to give feedback, the receiver recognizes the technique after a point. Genuine appreciation from the heart is the biggest boost you can give anyone. The challenge lies therein: all of us recognize the difference between mere lip service and genuine appreciation.

In the early 1930s, Mischa Borodkin was already an established symphony violinist when he decided to study conducting under the foremost teacher of conducting in the world, Felix Weingartner. Screwing up his courage, he journeyed to Switzerland during the symphonic off-season and presented himself to Maestro Weingartner.

“Maestro, I’m not sure I belong here. Everyone else seems to have studied conducting already. I have not.”

Weingartner looked at this student who, at age thirty, had already played in the New York Philharmonic for twelve years. “Very well, you will conduct first. Prepare a piece for tomorrow, and we’ll see if you belong here.”

Late into the night, Mischa prepared his first work to conduct.

The next morning, as the last note of Beethoven’s Coriolanus Overture dies out, Mischa looked anxiously at the conductor. Weingartner spoke the single most important word a teacher can say: “Stay!”

At the end of the summer course, Weingartner bid goodbye to Mischa with a memorable sentence of encouragement: “Write to me of your success in America!”

Weingartner did not say, “You are a great conductor,” nor even, “You have made great progress.” He did not evaluate Mischa at all. His gift of a single sentence was much greater, because this appreciation told Mischa that Weingartner believed in him.

Of all his stories from his nearly fifty-year musical career, Mischa told this one with the greatest sense of pride.

Most of us tend to look at what needs to be fixed, ostensibly that’s what we are there for. When you look at how great things are, it really adds another dimension to life, living and learning. The best argument for this philosophy is: when you look at the brighter side, you are looking into the light as opposed to into the darkness.

When I was a student at John Hopkin’s University, I wanted to join a poetry writing course taught by Professor Elliot Coleman. To be accepted into the course, first I had to show Coleman a sample of my poetry. Fearing criticism, I procrastinated.

When at last I braved an appointment with him and let him read my poems, I was astonished at his response: he told me what he liked about them. I left his office buoyed and inspired. That very week I wrote a poem that broke new ground for me.

When my poems were discussed in class, I often felt that Coleman understood my purposes better than I did. I always left class inspired and able to improve what I had written.

One week, I lingered in Professor Coleman’s classroom after the class session had ended. All had left the room except two other students, on whom I was eavesdropping.

One of the students was attacking a poem that the other had written. At bay, the author of the poem defended himself: “Well, Elliot Coleman likes this poem!”

The other, arching for the kill, hissed, “So? Elliot Coleman likes everything!”

In that moment I understood two things. Of course, I understood what the attacker meant: if I like everything equally, my judgement is meaningless.

But I also understood what the attacker did not. Elliot Coleman did not praise indiscriminately. On the contrary, his great gift was his ability to find what there was to like in every poem he read.

Leadership development programs, the world over will focus on the theme of empowerment. The question we have to ask ourselves is: are we brave enough to take the risk?

When I arrived as a CEO at software AG three years ago, there was a young man responsible for PR (Press Relations) and IR (Investor Relations). He was supposed to have been fired by my predecessor three or four times, but somehow he survived.

I realized he was full of passion, but unfortunately PR and IR require distinct skills. IR requires a conservative, modest way of communication. PR is more aggressive. The sum of both created an average performance for both PR and IR. I advised him to focus, on IR- his more natural talent.

I hired a PR manager and focused him on PR. The IR manager was disappointed. I began to empower him: full trust, full responsibility, stretched targets, full support and appreciation of his work … This year we won two key IR awards, one being the No 1 IR department in the German stock index TecDAX. It was the result of… empowerment, focus and trust, my principles of coaching.

(by Karl-Heinz Streibich CEO, Software AG)

Coaching is applied leadership…and this is a brass tacks example of how it can actually be done.

The situation. We as a company did not feel we were being treated with any professional respect by our customers: we were being blamed for everything, we were always treated as lesser beings and now we were about to not be paid.

My second in command, Buddy, wanted to resolve this, but did not know if he was brave enough.

I could so easily have stepped in and made a decision, but that would be undermining. My decision would have been to threaten to up and leave the project (In Norway) and fly back to the States…

So I asked Buddy a series of business coaching questions like: ‘What is the most important thing you need to get over this crises and put the project back on a proper course?’ and: ‘What is the worst thing that can happen?’ and finally: ‘How can you catch their attention in a way that will push home the point on how serious we are about what needs to be done?’

To the last question, buddy replied: ‘We could threaten to send everyone home,’ and his face went sheet-white. I replied: ‘Great Idea! This shows leadership and guts. I will back you to the hilt and take responsibility.’

We did this, they came to the table, the project was successful, and they admired us, and paid us!

Everyone on the project grew a little that day. Because of Buddy, not because of me.

(By John Maitz VP FS EMEA -Computer Sciences Corporation)